One of the other ashtangis -- one that I feel is extremely accomplished and who has a beautiful practice -- said to me after class today, "Your practice has been making amazing progress!" Then as I stuttered thank you, he complimented my increased flexibility, ease, and flow.
I've never been so great at receiving compliments, so after thanking him I just kind of deflected and talked about working towards the Mari D bind. But on top of my own social awkwardness, I'm struck by how good it made me feel to be complimented by him. It's difficult to accept words of encouragement as just that and not to attach to them in a non-yogic way.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Hi Again
I don't know why I decided to start a whole new blog during one of the busiest periods of my entire life, especially since I wasn't even posting regularly on my main blog.
Anyway -- I'm back!
I still can't do Marichyasana D. The horrible truth it's making me face about myself is also something I can't do yet -- by which I mean it's a challenge I haven't figured out how to overcome in life. Basically, when getting the bind on my own was absolutely impossible, I kind of didn't care. I just thought it was fun that E could put my body into that position at all. It was all, "Whoa! Oh, my go...! Wha...?!?!"
Now, though, I'm pretty damn close. I can wrap my arm, but not with enough openness in my shoulders that my forearm gets far enough around my knee that I can clasp fingers. Seriously, I am one inch away from getting my shoulder into a good position and wrapping my arm sufficiently.
AND NOW I'M FRUSTRATED AS HELL!
When it was hopeless, it didn't matter to me. But now that I'm so close, I've turned into this growling, tense, angry beast. I get nearly there and then I start pushing and pulling and grunting -- which I know probably just tightens me up -- but I can't let go. I need to learn to let go.
I find that this is true in everything I do in life. I can dabble or play around in all kinds of things, but when it approaches some tier related to accomplishment or whatnot my instinct is to just push through or give up. I never just steadily proceed and allow the breakthrough to happen whenever it will happen.
The only place this isn't really true is writing. But I feel like that's because you don't have to be linear about writing a play. You want to skip to the end? Then skip to the end. Ta-da! Now fill in the part you skipped.
Unfortunately, there's no way to do that with yoga. At least, not one I can think of.
Anyway -- I'm back!
I still can't do Marichyasana D. The horrible truth it's making me face about myself is also something I can't do yet -- by which I mean it's a challenge I haven't figured out how to overcome in life. Basically, when getting the bind on my own was absolutely impossible, I kind of didn't care. I just thought it was fun that E could put my body into that position at all. It was all, "Whoa! Oh, my go...! Wha...?!?!"
Now, though, I'm pretty damn close. I can wrap my arm, but not with enough openness in my shoulders that my forearm gets far enough around my knee that I can clasp fingers. Seriously, I am one inch away from getting my shoulder into a good position and wrapping my arm sufficiently.
AND NOW I'M FRUSTRATED AS HELL!
When it was hopeless, it didn't matter to me. But now that I'm so close, I've turned into this growling, tense, angry beast. I get nearly there and then I start pushing and pulling and grunting -- which I know probably just tightens me up -- but I can't let go. I need to learn to let go.
I find that this is true in everything I do in life. I can dabble or play around in all kinds of things, but when it approaches some tier related to accomplishment or whatnot my instinct is to just push through or give up. I never just steadily proceed and allow the breakthrough to happen whenever it will happen.
The only place this isn't really true is writing. But I feel like that's because you don't have to be linear about writing a play. You want to skip to the end? Then skip to the end. Ta-da! Now fill in the part you skipped.
Unfortunately, there's no way to do that with yoga. At least, not one I can think of.
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